This is going to be a short post, I apologize. Also I was supposed to post this yesterday, as it was 6th of July when I started, but I forgot. So here it is! I started to write this blog at the mature age of 15 in 2012. Back then I did not think anything about this blog, never thought anyone would read it and I thought I would only write for a while and then delete it. How wrong I was! Here we are, ten years later. Things have changed a lot. I still have depression, but when I was 15, my depression was really severe. I had had a burnout for years and years at that point and honestly I thought that dying would be easier than living. Fortunately, I never managed to take my own life. Now I have my own apartment, my relationship with my parents is better and I have my depression under control. My life is still not easy, but it is easier when I was a teenager. Even though I had a hard time with passing of Ella I have a new dog, called Gringo. He is a four year old boxer, who is originally from Spain. I might wrote about him in the future. Unlike Ella, Gringo is very calm. He is a lot more nervous than Ella and does not greet visitors like Ella did. I still miss Ella, she was such an important dog in m life, but I like Gringo too.
I started to do new things. I always knew that cyber goth look was the goth look I liked the most, but it took ten years to actually dress as a cyber goth. I had cyber lox for years, but never really had anyone to put them on my head, as I cannot do it myself. In Tampere Kuplii and Kibecon I dressed as a cyber goth, and the experience was awesome. There is also a goth meeting in next month, where I might dress as a cyber goth, I also started finally to learn how to contour my face. This is something I have been thinking for ten years now, but never really had the courage to actually do it. I also started to cosplay again. I actually tried to come back in 2020, but then the coronavirus came and you know how that went. I tried to make a cosplay for Kibecon and Desucon and failed. I hope I have to cosplay at least in Tracon, or maybe in Kitsunecon, what is a month before that. I have also accepted my body that I have been wearing dresses. I usually dress quite feminine, I have not own pants in years and at winter I had a a skirt and a leggings. But wearing a dress has always been a bit difficult for me. I simply think that my plus size body does not look good in dresses. But now for last six days I have been only wearing dresses, I just bought a 50s style dress from Dolly & Dotty and next time I go to my mom's house I might go to Muotiputiikki Helmi, that sells 50s style pin-up dresses.
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